On a lighter note, i’m sure you guys have more workshop jokes, tips & Quotes that could make this page more fulfilling but here’s 12 one liners or ditty’s for a starter to lighten your day. Of course any good one liners you have to share with us are welcome via our contact form.
One mans rubbish is another mans gold and the same can apply to one liners, tips and Quotes that’s for sure but heigh ho scroll down the page and you just never know there may be something that raises an eyebrow or even a smile or maybe not.
- Imagine if trees produced a WIFI signal they would be planting trees everywhere, too bad they only produce the oxygen we breathe.
- Good judgement comes from lots of experience, whilst experience comes from rectifying the cock-ups made.
- It’s always easier to ask for forgiveness when buying too many tools than it is to get permission from the wife.
- Remember it’s never a mistake, it’s really an ‘artistic bespoke design feature’.
- How to avoid serious injury, never tell a carpenter how to do his job.
- A carpenters dream girl would have a stomach as flat as a board and would never have been nailed.
- The most versatile tool in your kit is the one that you grab and throw across the room while yelling ‘Son of a B–ch’ at the top of your voice.
- Have you heard the under construction joke? It’s not done yet.
- A beginners perfect excuse “In my defence, I was left unsupervised”.
- Did you hear about the woodturner, who parted with his wife because of his skewed tool?
- A guy gave up his woodcarving hobby after many years of trying to perfect his skills, he became frustrated that his fruit he made always came out pear shaped.
- Where you find quality workmanship, you will find a craftsman, not a quality-control expert. ~Robert Brault
On the subject of jokes, there was a time when really good jokes were appreciated and taken as light hearted fun and not seriously! Mainly though they were often told to raise spirits, have a laugh but jokes generally were about a topic with funny characteristics such as above. No offence by any single word or combination should be taken or meant but in this world of Political Correctness isn’t it a bit sad i’m clarifying that the above isn’t in any way meant personally. Freedom of speech is certainly on it’s way to being a thing from the past and those stiffing it should consider their actions today as the next generation will be inclined to reject it as ‘imposed thought control’. By then at the rate things are going I wouldn’t be surprised if there was going to be a “department of bottom inspectors” called the DBI for short with infantry more powers than the police, oh I forgot we already have something like that in the HSE “Hopelessly Stupid Executive”.
It’s a funny old world full of crazy people with nothing better to do, they really need a hobby that requires stretching the grey matter with more deserving causes, like figuring out how the hell to finish a project they wished they never started just like so many of us sane people.
As we say in Norfolk – GORD BIS BOUY, THAY THOUGHT I WOZ STU-PUD! :))